


After all this time

by princessackerman



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Love, M/M, Old Lovers, Romance, ereri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24218290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessackerman/pseuds/princessackerman
Summary: Eren and Levi meet each other at a mutual friends wedding years after they had a dramatic high school break up. Don't you just love ex's?
Relationships: Levi & Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	After all this time

I still remember like it was yesterday. We broke up through text because it was summer vacation and we were dumb high schoolers. Seven years have passed since then and six years since I last heard your voice. Our breakup was all my fault because I’m an idiot and cheated on you, it was only a kiss, but that’s still cheating ..  
Although I hate myself for thinking about him, on days like this I can’t help it. Today I’m going to a friend from high schools wedding and I know that he is going to be there. I’m trying to prepare myself for it but being the absolute disastrous human that I am, I spiral down the breakup causing feelings to come back that I’ve long forgotten whether it be by choice or force. We dated for three years. The beginning of freshman year was when our love began and the feeling I felt when I was with you is a feeling no longer tangible. I love you so much, Levi.  
No.  
That’s not right.  
I don’t love you. I’m not allowed to love you anymore.  
Today’s gonna suck. On top of all that, my date last minute bailed. 

————

As the bride and groom dance their first dance together I can’t help but think of all the hours spent day dreaming about my wedding and how I would have danced a slow sweet dance with Levi. Those thoughts haven’t filled my head for many moons.  
I glance over and look to where Levi is sitting and notice his seat empty.  
Why am I noticing this? I think. My heart is racing and I feel the strain in my eyes from tears trying their escape.  
I haven’t felt these feelings in over two years. Why today? Probably the wedding I tell myself.. It’s an emotional time, anyone who was single would feel this way.  
I remember the very detailed vows I wrote for Levi when I was sixteen years old. Too young to know what real love was but old enough to know our relationship was truly something special. 

When the slow dance comes to an end, I go to the bar to order an amaretto sour and take a sip, delicious. I’m not really in the mood for dancing with the few people I went to high school with and the family and friends of the bride and groom, so I just return to my lonely chair. I’ll probably leave early, I tell myself. Stay what is socially acceptable and then I’ll go.

Thirty minutes or so pass by and as my walk to the groom to announce my departure comes to a halt I freeze due to shock.. but mostly embarrassment.  
The groom, Mike, is talking to Levi. I feel embarrassed by my own thoughts. There he is. They talk so flawlessly; Best friends from childhood. I don’t want to interrupt so I pretend like I’m looking in another direction trying to understand something someone across the room is telling me, which, there was nobody. Taking an uncomfortable amount of time attempting to figure out what my nonexistent friend is saying I feel my heart drop as a familiar scent gathers around me.  
Why do you still give off this scent? Is all I can think. Too dazed by my own inability to comprehend what’s happening to notice that Levi is standing practically on top of me trying to get my attention. Oh, theres my friend trying to talk to me. 

What does he want? 

Levi notices my inability to gather words. He must think I’m still so stupid, so he speaks first.

“Hey. You doing okay? You look kind of… out of it.”

Are you fucking kidding me.

“.. I’m doing great. The bar here is terrific I’ve had a few too many to drink so I think I’m going to head out. I didn’t come with anyone either so a few drinks and no date at a wedding can really get to you” I awkwardly chuckle. Then I get real wide eyed. Why the fuck did I just admit that I came to a wedding ALONE to my ex-boyfriend!! I believe he notices my slip up, gives a shy smile, and attempts to ease my unfortunate heart. 

“Well, I didn’t come with anyone either. Me and the brides’ maid of honor are dates just because it was easy. We both know a lot of people here though so she is just on her own having a party without me, which, I’m not complaining about. It lets me also have my own fun.”

Thanks but that didn’t help. 

We stand their awkward and talk for what seemed like eternity but was actually only two minutes. Once things get silent I start to say that I’m about to leave and that it was nice catching up, which, I wouldn’t necessarily call that catching up but what else is there to call it. When I open my mouth to speak, Levi started right before me.

“Would you like to get a drink and catch up? It sure has been a while. I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to since High School.” 

He pauses.

“Or wait, you said you had too much to drink so never mind that. I still would love to talk if you aren’t in a hurry to go..”

I have no excuse not to stay. I’ve actually only had one drink so I’m not feeling very much of anything besides pure embarrassment and regret that I’ve let this conversation last this long. It’s not that I don’t want to talk either, it took me seven long years to get over this man and here he is trying to bring all those feelings back. Feelings that I have forcibly pushed out of my heart. I can never get those years back of self torture. I try to remind myself all the pain that he caused me but over the course of seven years I no longer feel that pain. I remember the last words he told me when we broke up 

You will never find someone like me. I will haunt you always.

It’s true. He haunted me for so long until I realized that there is no point of being upset over something that is never going to happen. There was no point to even toy with the thought of us getting back together because I ruined our relationship. He had moved on soon after we broke up and that never stopped hurting. When he would get with someone else I would always tell myself, when are you going to come back home Levi? When are you going to realize that I love you so much and that nobody else is ever going to love you the way that I did. The way that I do. 

Our relationship ended because I was young and dumb. I loved this boy so much and yet it wasn’t enough for me.  
In the summer that we were together I kissed someone else due to a dare. I was at a weird time in my life and the idea of doing something so silly as a dare to kiss was thrilling. The adrenaline kicked in and I kissed this random boy. The guilt was too much to bare and so I told him the same night and we argued for a full day. The next day I told Levi I wanted to see him face to face and he said 

Why? So I can break up with you in person?

The rest of the day is a blur. I don’t want to remember it. Why is he talking to me at this wedding I just want to be left alone.  
But for a second I think to myself;  
I just want to remember how it feels to be loved by you.  
That thought takes over and I reply simply,

“Actually i’ll take an amaretto sour”. 

————

I watch Levi go and order my drink from the bartender and after a few minutes he comes back with an amaretto sour in one hand and a vodka water in the other. Once he hands me my drink I just stare at him in amazement. I can’t believe I’m allowing this to happen. I still haven’t talked to Mike but he’s so busy I don’t think he’s even noticed.  
I stare at Levi for a few seconds too long without saying a word so he breaks the air and ask me if I want to go step onto the patio. I moved my head ever so slightly but he knew that was a yes, lead the way. 

The patio was empty. Beautifully lit for a romantic conversation. Why here? We stood there for a while admiring the beauty of the outdoors. Trying to avoid awkward conversation for as long as I could I sip my drink very slowly. Biting the end of the straw in my mouth so that barely any liquid goes down my throat. If I’m drinking I don’t have to talk is what my mind was telling me. That didn’t stop Levi though. 

“So any exciting news since we’ve last talked to each other? It’s been what.. six years since high school.”

My heart is beating fast on this intimate patio. Why here? 

“Since High School ended I went to University, finished this past summer, and have been working to take care of my cat.”

We stand there in silence after I finish my sentence. I know that he wants me to ask him what he’s been up to but I’m still trying to avoid as much conversation as possible. A few seconds pass by and I finish my drink. I’m a known light weight so two drinks pretty much does it for me and I look at Levi and I know that I must look so desperate for his attention. Why here? I can’t stop thinking. Why am I allowing myself to be put in this position when I’ve tried so hard to not think of myself here let alone physically be here. We look at each other awkwardly, each wanting to speak but neither knowing what to say. 

I decide to break the ice since I can’t stand the silence anymore. I intend to ask him how he’s been but I instead ask,

“Why did you want to talk to me?” Oh no did I seriously just say that. I can’t leave it there. “You made it obvious you wanted nothing to do with me when we broke up so why here? Why now?” Worse. That’s worse. 

He looks at me like I’ve broken his heart yet again, and I feel just as I felt when I kissed that boy whose name I can’t even remember; young and stupid. He avoids my question and instead asks me if I’m dating anyone. I know he can tell from my immediate beet-red face the answer so I don’t even answer. I instead look away and place a hand to my chest to make sure my heart hasn’t burst out. It’s so loud and beating so fast that I feel like I’m going to throw up. He’s always been able to read me so well even without all the extravagant reactions my body is deciding to give today. After a few more seconds have passed I look up toward him and he is already looking at me. Staring deep into my eyes examining my soul trying to read into me. I stare back at him attempting to read him right back, but just as always he’s unreadable and handsome as hell. Steel gray eyes so beautiful they take my breath away. Eyebrows thin and clean. His skin is pale and no blemish exist while his hair is slicked and freshly cut. He looks damn good. 

“I was dating someone for a while but then we realized that it would be better to split up. It didn’t phase me that much our relationship was coming to a close. We didn’t have a bad one it just seemed like we were together just because we had been a couple for so long and not that we actually loved one another.” He says. 

Why are you telling me this? I didn’t ask and I don’t care. Who knows if it was the alcohol or the intimate setting we put ourselves in but he then says something that I never thought I would hear with my own ears. 

“Y’know Eren, I always thought this would be you and me. Drinking and dancing at our wedding. I always thought you would be the one who I said ‘I do’ to and sometimes, I still do. I know it’s silly to bring this up and maybe it’s the liquor talking but I really did always think it was going to be you.”

My heart stops. There’s absolutely no way I am still alive. All of these feelings come rushing back to me and suddenly I’ve lost all the progress I made over these 6 years. In a matter of seconds I’m back to high school. It took two sentences for him to pull me back into his intoxicating aura. I love him. I love him so much I can’t stop repeating over and over in my head. I don’t know what to say. He can tell that I am shocked to hear him say that and it’s obvious that he realized he made a mistake in saying that. It wasn’t a mistake I think to myself hoping that he can still read my thoughts. We look at each other and I hope that my love for him and my inability to get over him all these years isn’t plain obvious. We stand in silence for a while. 

Levi opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off.

“I always thought it was going to be you too.” 

He looks at me in awe. Happy to hear those words come out of my mouth but still unsure of what they mean. I’m angry at this confession from the both of us. Because it didn’t actually clear anything up all it did was confuse our relationship. 

So I decide to clear it up for us. 

“What do we do with this information? It doesn’t mean anything does it? Levi It’s been seven years since we broke up and six years since we last spoke to each other. You have your life and I have mine. We can’t just pick right back up to where we dropped off. It’s impossible.” I bark at him those words but truthfully I want him to say that what I said was dumb and that we absolutely can pick up right where we ended. I wanted him to hug me right there and kiss me like he hasn’t seen me in sex years. I wanted him to tell me that he loved me and that I was the only one for him. That I’ll always be the only one for him. I wanted him to get down on his knee and propose to me with a ring that had his birthstone on it like we talked about when we were young. I wanted him to give me the whole world but I knew it was not possible. 

He looks at me but doesn’t say anything. I can tell that he has no idea what to say. 

“So what do we do?” I repeat. 

......

“We should get another drink”.

——————

While getting another drink I notice that I still haven’t talked to Mike. This is ridiculous I’m at my friends wedding and I haven’t even said congratulations. I tell Levi that I need to go give my respects to the bride and groom and he offers to come with me and since this day is already insane, I say okay. While talking to Mike he ask me if I’m enjoying myself and I reply simply “the bar is great of course I’m enjoying myself”. We hug and then go our separate ways. He has so many people to talk to and is trying to enjoy himself as well so I won’t bother him too much. I turn back around to see Levi staring at me with those beautiful damn eyes. I’ve had three drinks at this point, I drank my other drink on the way to talk to the groom, so I’m feeling different and I don’t even know how many drinks Levi has had. He looks at me just how he did in high school; like I was the only one in the world. Sure he looks at me the same but physically he has matured so much and is so handsome that I can’t help but blush furiously at the sight of him. We continue like this for the rest of the night. Drinking and staring at each other. The occasional light conversations but after enough drinks we forget about our awkward confession on the patio and just enjoy each others company. 

Near the end of the wedding reception when it’s time to go I start to call a cab. I didn’t drive here because I knew that it was going to be an open bar and I know how I can be with open bars, since hey, free drinks. I open the app on my phone to call my ride over and Levi, still practically standing over me, notices and presses my phone off. At this point of the night I don’t even have the energy to wonder why he did that so I instead look at him and he instantly says “let me take you home.” 

Me, not knowing what good decisions are, I say okay. 

We get into his car and talk about the wedding for a while to give him the chance to finish sobering up. He didn’t drink more than two drinks, while I continued drinking he drank only water, so I know that he’s fine but I appreciate him being safe. I can tell the both of us are trying to break the air of the closed space that we have now put ourselves in. He asks me where I live and then we find out it’s the opposite direction of where he lives. See? I should just call a cab I say but he quickly denies. Instead he pulls his car out of the parking lot and drives towards my place. 

The car ride over is silent but not too awkward. We dated for a while so we’re used to each others silence, or at least we used to be. I believe at this point it’s just exhaustion and neither of us feel like having a difficult conversation that we both don’t want to have.  
It takes about fifteen minutes to get to my apartment and once Levi parks the car to let me out I can tell that he still wants to talk. I don’t know what there is to talk about. We were young and dumb and it’s over now. That’s all there is to it. With that said, I can tell he has more to say so I invite him to come up, which, I know is a bad idea but didn’t I say earlier that I don’t make good decisions? 

We climb up to the third floor of my apartment and I unlock the door and turn on the light. My cat runs away at the sight of another person but its all an act. She loves people. I offer Levi some water just to once again, break the ice, but he declines. We both sit on my couch and look at each other in silence. It’s well past 1 AM at this point and we both don’t know what were doing. Just yesterday we hadn’t seen each other in six years and all the sudden he’s on my couch?  
After a few minutes of silence, Levi speaks. 

“It’s always going to be you, Eren.” 

My heart has been beating at max speed all night long. But right now, it’s a normal beat; a calm one. 

“Levi…. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear that” 

He leans in to kiss me with those beautiful lips that I yearn for but I stop him. I put one hand on his chest and look at him deep in his eyes. My body has been reacting strangely almost all night but I feel like it’s about to explode. I simply ask him, “What will this mean.. if we continue with what were about to do.” And he replies, “I don’t know but I desperately need to feel your lips, Eren”. And with that we gently inch towards one another and I feel his lips with my own. 

x

**Author's Note:**

> If you've stuck around to the end of this I want to say Thank You! :)  
> This is my first thing I've sat down, typed, and put into the world so be gentle. If even one of you enjoys it that would bring me joy.  
> I must admit too, I didn't originally write this for ereri rather just wrote the story and ended up using their names because I love them. Although this is a single chapter story I might add more later ;)


End file.
